Reduce the Validity of Your Argument by Refusing Debate!

After writing my last post on the benefits that I have seen from initiating heels into my dance repertoire, I was drawn to a post that a friend linked to from someone with a very contrasting view. As someone who was obviously interested in the subject I wanted to engage in some debate or at least discussion about the issues we both recently had written about. I wrote a considered response and was shocked to find that a day later, my comment was not approved. On top of that, her reasoning for refusing to display it was as follows: "Remember, please: this is my blog. I’ll just delete your comment if you give me the shits. Hellz, even if you disagree with me! I encourage you to write your own blog posts or FB notes or whatevs if you’re cranky with that."

Now she has every right to moderate her blog as she sees fit. And as I feel that my comments deserve a forum as much as hers do, I am being "cranky" with that and writing here. But I have to say that when someone who sees themselves outside the societal norms petitions to stretch those norms or conventions so that they can be heard, taken seriously, and potentially change aspects of the society they see then turns around and so blatantly refuses to even discuss anything.... it doesnt lend me to to taking them seriously in the future.

The post can be found here and my deleted response to it is below:

I posted most of this as a comment on someone’s link on facebook, but I think it is only right that I post it here as well.

I don’t feel Sarah’s post was about the gender of the person in the footwear. If you look closer at Sarah and Dax’s site, there is also a post explaining why Dax feels that guys should wear heels too! So they were in no way claiming this was purely a female thing.

The point of Sarah’s article was to emphasise the benefits that she has had from dancing in heels and the issues she was able to flag because of it. Nor does it assume that “heels” means 4” stilettos… all she was saying is that by wearing a heel you become more aware of your posture, balance, connection with the floor, and the connection with your partner – none of which are a bad thing! Personally, I prefer to dance in a bit of a heel. I don’t do it because of what it looks like, I do it because it is the way I am most comfortable and where I feel the most secure. I have trained in heels and all sorts of dance styles for a long time and don’t think you should be limited to just one type of footwear – for dance or societal reasons! Yes, core strength should be encouraged and developed. But starting to “learn to dance in heels by dancing in heels” does not mean jumping straight in at high high heels. Like with any strengthening or fitness based training, you don't jump in the deep end before you can swim – that Would be dangerous.

I also have a bit of an issue with saying that someone cannot be “badass” in heels. Not only don’t I agree with that statement, but I also vehemently disagree with the statement that “[i]t stops you being totally badass (ie you can’t dance hardcore or do scary aerials or otherwise rock ON).” Besides the fact that “scary aerials” should NOT be done socially, in my opinion, surely dancing hardcore or rocking on depends on each dancer… and personally, I feel I can do those things in heels. If you don’t, that’s fine but don’t say it isn’t possible. I also don’t accept that you are any more badass because you flagrantly do the opposite of whatever you think society expects of you. (And frankly, wearing heels to Lindy is NOT the norm… so if you are trying to go against type then maybe you Should be wearing them.)

As for the claims that wearing heels is akin to societally imposed suffering or as in the comment above, Chinese foot binding… I am sorry, but I just don’t buy it. If you take care of your body (warm it up and cool it down, stretch and massage) then the shoes you are wearing shouldn’t make much of a difference as long as they fit properly and give you the necessary support. You can have just as many foot problems from cheap flat shoes as you can from heels if you don’t look after yourself.

I respect that everyone should be allowed their opinion and have the right to express it in the way that they please….. and the vehemence in this post makes it a very compelling read…. But I think that the core idea jumps to conclusions and the profanity isn’t really necessary. Make your point. If strong enough, it will stand without the swearing.